Ep4: 3 Reasons Why You Dont Feel Confident and How to Fix It

Did you know that you are naturally confident? Sometimes we lose track because our environment can bring our confidence down. It is easier to build our confidence when we know what is holding us back.

Episode Transcript


Hey there and welcome to I Can, I Am, I Will, the world’s number one podcast for confidence and self-empowerment. Woot woot. This is our 4th episode in our 100 podcasts in 100 days series.

Welcome, I am Lyndsey, your confidence coach. And here together, with this podcast, we will discuss how you can stop limiting yourself to build your confidence and achieve great things. You are going to do the things. That things that you want to do that make you happy. You are going to achieve your goals with actionable advice and simply with us opening the conversation around confidence. And today I want to talk about what it means when I say that we are digging up your confidence.

Why You Don’t Feel Confidence

So in the previous two episodes I referenced that you have confidence within you all along. Because you do. Every single person has a natural ability to be confident. And when I say we are digging it up, I mean that we are shuffling things around. We’re doing mindset shifts. We’re creating positive self-talk and we are helping you to find that confidence that is within you but has just been buried or pushed to the side. And in order for us to dig it up, we need to figure out why it was buried.

So today I’m going to talk to you about certain reasons as to why you may not be feeling as confident as you would like or as confident as you naturally are. And the first reason is because you could not have been taught. The people who brought you up, your parents or your guardians, people around you may not have known themselves how to be confident. They might not of had confidence or self-assurance within themselves. So then how were they going to teach you? Especially if they didn’t realize the importance of confidence. They might not even realize it. That that’s something they need. So why are they going to teach you something that they don’t know? That they even need?

And another reason why we may not have confidence is because of this world and this culture and this society. This is not a society that encourages confidence. It is rough out there. There are people who think that negative criticism is the same as constructive criticism. I know. I’ve met them. No, it’s not the same.

Confidence from Criticism

Constructive criticism helps people. It helps them build themselves up by realizing what they aren’t doing right and correcting it. Negative criticism doesn’t help anyone build anyone up. Because all it does is say negative things about a person. And that can bring your confidence down. Especially if you are trying to build your confidence. Because when you are trying to build your confidence it is very helpful to have a certain particular area in which you feel confident. And then you can utilize those feelings of confidence in that area to help you in other areas. But if you haven’t gotten that feedback or that constructive criticism, and you aren’t feeling confident in really any area, then it’s going to be rough for you to build that confidence.

It is not impossible. And I really want to drive that idea in. Because you can, you will. I can, I am, I will. You can build your confidence. So tell yourself now, “I can build confidence, I am a naturally confident person, I will be confident.” You can do it. You can build this confidence. It will just be a little bit tougher because you don’t have really anything to base it on or reliant upon. But that is what we are doing here. Why we’re talking about confidence. Why I’m doing the 100 podcast in 100 days. To give you that repetition and to talk about this topic for 10 minutes a day to give you a nice introduction and to get you comfortable with confidence. So it is something that is in your environment.

How to Build Finding Confidence

So even if you were never taught, or if you were around people who were not confident, and you gained certain kind of perspectives and unhelpful skills from them. You might have picked up bad habits from them and they had those bad habits not even knowing that they were bad habits. Because I am certain that people who were guarding us and watching us and bringing us up did not want us to have these bad habits. They were doing the best they could and now we’re learning more.

So we’re going to build this confidence but there are many things in our environment that are keeping us from building this confidence. Comparison with unrealistic beauty standards. One person saying they like something and then it all the sudden being tagged as a trend. As being told we need to focus on what other people think about us. We’re being encouraged to do that.

There are a lot of things in culture and in society social media that forces comparison. A lot of things can halt our confidence building and we need to be aware of those things. To be aware of the reason why we may not be so confident. And to also be aware of the things that can keep us from reaching our full potential. So we can build that confidence. Because as I said before, and I’m going to probably tell you each episode, you are confident, you have confidence within you. It is your birthright and we are just digging that up.

Confidence Close

And this episode was to turn those wheels and have you thinking about different ways that you might not be confident and reasons why you might not be confident. And this is not to blame a particular person or to blame society. Not this at all that. It’s not blaming. What we are doing is finding the cause of the problem. Because when you know the cause it is much easier to not only find the solution, but to create a life-long solution and that is what we are doing here.

So until our next podcast tomorrow take some time and think of the ways that you have been you have been taught and you have learned to not be so confident. And let that settle. Let that float around. Let that just go around in your brain and just think about that. And tomorrow we will get into more in-depth ways as to why you may not be so confident. And when I say reasons why you why you may not be so confident, I don’t want you to think that’s a bad thing. It’s actually a good thing. We’re figuring it out. Because we need to know the problem to solve it and this is the whole part of figuring all of that out and I am excited to be here with you.

 I am so proud of you. You are showing up for yourself and that is wonderful. So with that we are going to end with our iffirmations. You can say with me. You can listen along. You cannot do anything, again, live your dreams. Are you ready?

I can,

I am,

I will.

Alright y’all have a good day.

Watch on You Tube

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