Fake it till you make it means faking your confidence until you make confidence, not faking confidence until you make it big. Learn how to “fake it till you make it” in today’s episode of I Can, I Am, I Will.
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Note: The podcast is not scripted and is transcribed using software. The transcript is nearly verbatim but may not be exact and may include minor grammatical errors or edits for ease of reading.
Welcome to I Can, I Am, I Will. The world’s #1 podcast for confidence and self-empowerment.
Today we are going to talk about what the quote, “fake it till you make it” actually means. A lot of people essentially—I think every single person I’ve ever heard used the quote—has used it wrong.
So we’re going to talk about what it actually means so that you can have a better chance at building your confidence. You’re most likely been steered in the wrong direction my friend. We were going to put you back on track.
My name is Lyndsey. I’m a confident and self-empowerment coach and if you want to build your confidence and self-empowerment then you are in the right place.
Please like, share, comment, leave reviews. It will really help me get the word out so more people will see this podcast and they can build their confidence and self-compartments just like you are trying to do. We help each other, thank you!
Fake It Till You Make It
The quote “fake it till you make it” has been misunderstood and misinterpreted. People think it means fake confidence until you make it big. Or make it would mean that you achieve your goal, or you get the job, or you get the house, or the car, or the lifestyle that you want.
So people think “fake it till you make it” means fake your confidence until you make it big, or you make it how you want your life how you want. That is not the meaning behind the quote. So the quote, “fake it till you make it” actually means fake confidence until you make confidence.
And it might sound a little confusing, don’t fret we’re going to go into some detail here!
In the first couple episodes of the podcast I talked about how people think confidence is something that you get and that confidence is something that you achieve. So if you get the job then you can be confident. Or if you get the date then you can be confident. Or if you get the degree, or the car, or the house, or whatever you’re obtaining. Whatever you are trying to obtain—if you get it then you think you get confidence.
However, that is not the case. You build confidence by trying to obtain the things that you want to obtain. So in our 25th episode I talked about how I was building my confidence for obtaining difficult goals. With me doing this 100 podcasts in 100 days series I am building my confidence as I do this. 28 days ago, what would I say if someone asked me: are you confident doing a podcast? I would not say yes.
Related Article: 51 Powerful Failure to Success Quotes
Right now (after 28 episodes), oh yeah of course. I could teach someone how to do it. I could give them tips and tricks. Of course I’m still learning. However, I feel much more confident and in our 50th episode and 75th and 100th—if I check in on my progress every 25 episodes—you will see that I’m continuing to build my confidence towards having a managing a podcast. And it’s not something that I would get at the end.
So it’s not, I do all the 100 episodes and then at the 100 episode all the sudden like something falls from the sky and automatically I have this confidence. That’s not how it works. And I’m really trying to drive that point in, because for some reason we have been misguided to think that we need to do something in order to be confident. But we don’t. And we quote “fake it to you make it” thinking it means fake your confidence until you make your confidence.
So back on episode 12 I talked about 3 science back techniques that you can do to have your outward—your physical appearance—seem confident. And when you do that, when you seem like you are externally or outwardly confident, you can trick your brain into thinking you are confident internally.
Then you will start to think in a more confident way, and you will start to act in a way that will help you build your confidence. That is what people mean when they say, “fake it till you make it.”
So really quickly those techniques: you can do the Superman pose. Which I’m sure a lot of people have heard about. So you stand with your feet spread about shoulders width apart and you have your hands on your hips, and your chest kind of pushed outward. And you look straight ahead of you, but kind of look up towards the sky. When you stand in that pose it makes you feel more confident. I’m doing it right now, and I can already feel it.
The other one was to curl the sides of your mouth. So you are in a smile. And when you do that you don’t have to be like smiling, like cheesing smile, you just have like a slight curl. And when you do that you’re smiling, you’re feeling confident.
And then the third one was to have your shoulders back. So there’s a technique you can do with like a broom handle or something. And it’s by holding it up above and then bring it back arm straight back behind your body. And that is going to force your shoulders to stand tall. And I do that at least once a week—10 times.
At this point, it feels uncomfortable to walk with my head down. It was snowing and there was ice in my area about a month ago. I felt so uncomfortable I had to look down. I didn’t want to slip and fall but it felt so uncomfortable and unnatural for me to not have my shoulders back and to be looking straight ahead.
It was uncomfortable to walk with my head down because this is how I naturally am now; this is my automatic. And when you do these external things it can help you to feel confident internally. In your own mind, in your thought process.
And another one that I did, to the whole like “fake it till you make it” was when I was going into meetings. I would feel very self-conscious and very nervous to the point where I would shake. My hands would get shaky and then I was nervous that people could tell that my hands were shaky. And then I’d feel sweaty. It was a nightmare for me.
What I would do is, I would think everyone loves me. And I would go into the room thinking everyone loves me. Obviously not everyone knows me, half the people don’t even know who I am. So I would think realistically yeah not everyone loves me. However if I just think that, what is it going to hurt?
I mean it’s hurting me more feeling like everyone hates me. So I might as well just think everyone loves me. I’m not delusional. I know that not everyone loves me. However, it doesn’t hurt to think that way. I would literally just go into the meetings thinking everyone loves me. I’d walk in there, and I would just sit up straight. And I started building my confidence in these meetings to the point that now when I go into a meeting, I don’t think everyone loves me.
I go into the meeting and I feel confident and I do what I have to do. I’m not focused on if anyone likes me. I’m focused on the goal, and what I am trying to relay to everyone. Making sure that they understand the topic, and then also making sure they know next steps and what needs to happen next. And that’s what happens when you build your confidence. You free up all of this mental mind space. You feel so empowered that you can focus even more on your goals.
Fake Confidence Till You Make Confidence
So, “fake it till you make it,” make your confidence—until you make your confidence. Don’t focus on faking confidence until you make it in life. Because if you do that, then you are missing out on the fact that you are continuing to build your confidence while you are working towards improving your life.
And it’s important for you to acknowledge and appreciate the little moments. The moments in which you’ve notice that you build your confidence, or you feel more empowered. Because once you get those tiny wins, then you are going to create even more wins and bigger wins! And you’re going to build confidence.
With that we’re going to end with our I affirming statements. You can say them with me, you cannot, you can do whatever you want. Are you ready?
Have a great day!
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